"Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge..."

(photographer unknown)

Living in New York is difficult, especially in the winter. There are a combination of factors contributing to this but the result is always the same: people become more aggressive, less pleasant. In the last two weeks I've been openly pushed on the subway twice, both times by women. I don't want New York to revert to the city that it used to be but I feel that if people were a little bit afraid of what might happen to them if they pushed somebody else then they simply wouldn't do it. That wouldn't be such a bad thing, would it? Perhaps fear has its social uses as well. Or maybe I am just getting older and that is what happens. You get pushed out of the way and there is less and less you can, or want to do, about it.

I've joined the lottery to get into the New York City marathon this year. I've lived here 10 years and I've never even joined the lottery before. I'm hoping this year is my year. There is MUCH training to be done but I am looking forward to it all. I have tried to get a few friends interested but so far no luck. They are all near me in age and I suppose 26.2 miles does not sound enticing. I guess I can't blame them. In the entire week so far I haven't jogged even 13.1 miles yet. So, to train to the point that I am running more than twice that in a single day.... Well, we'll see.

As I walked to work yesterday I thought of several things to write in my fledgling blog here but now I can't think of any... It is the silence of morning, or the lack of coffee, or the paucity of ideas.

Fear. Perhaps I am only waiting to be pushed.

-Seanq6